"The Muscle"
"Super Dave"
"The Butt"
"Two Speed"
These are a few of the nicknames we know in MABRA. Actually, I made "The Butt" up, but nicknames describe and often make fun of a reality (sorry, Brian). Over time in cycling I have had tons of nicknames, probably because of my goofy and joking nature.
The first one I remember was "Chuckie", like from Child's play. I had a sticker on my helmet that said "Back off Jack, Chuckies Back" , from Child's Play 2 that came out when I started racing after a 2 year lay off. I know, having that sticker on my helmet was dorky, but whatever - it was funny at the time. When I went back to California in August, a few people still called me this.
The next one I remember was "Tumble Weed". Before I had dread locks, I had a huge Afro. While traveling across the country with some of my teammates they noticed how similar my hair was to the tumble weed blowing by. This one never stuck, thank God, but it was funny.
The first cool one I got was from the west-coast version of announcer Joe Jefferson. It was pouring rain and I wasn't wearing glasses so I was squinting. That coupled with the fact I am always smiling led him to start calling me "the Joker". I remember winning a three-up break away sprint and the announcer saying "Tricked again by the Joker!" That was cool. For the same reason I have also been called "smiley", but how tough is that?
Probably the funniest nickname was given to me by former 7-11 rider Scott McKinley. I did not know I needed glasses, and because of a lack of depth perception, I crashed often. The movie Dances with Wolves had just come out. When Scott was asked if he knew where I was, he replied "oh, you mean 'Dances with Pavement'". I am so glad that one did not stick (at least more than 2 or 3 years). I, and I am sure everyone around me appreciates Eye Lasiks too.
Most recently I have been called "Two Speed". When I first read that, I thought Dave Fuentes was going to say Stop and Slow - which would have been funny, but luckily it was Stop and "I don't give a f#ck", which is kind of how I ride. I honestly HATE going slow, which often pisses people off on training rides. Sorry though, I guess if you don't like it you can sit up. This nickname seems to be sticking, we'll see how long and what is next.
The nicknames "The Muscle", "Super Dave" and "Gay Racer Dude", are really all the ones I know in MABRA. What are some more?
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Lance watch out, Gerlach is back.
Chad Gerlach. Where do you begin?
First, before I compliment him and trash talk him I have to say that he is my friend.
This dude got chocked out by Lance at the Olympic Training Center for calling him a "fatty" - then proceeded to get kicked off the Junior Worlds Team, although second to Lance he was the strongest kid there. Chad rode for pretty much every single Pro Team in the US throughout the 90's, including Postal Service. He was the pure athlete kind of guy who could smoke you swimming across a full length pool, with a cast being held above the water on his broken arm (that really happened to me). I'm telling you, this guy was bad ass, winning stages of the Tour of Poland, Tour of China and God knows how many other races around the world and US.
Just because he sits in front of the TV chewing on his toe nails does not mean he is not smart. Getting someone else to pay for his rehab, housing and some spending money through the show 'Intervention' are just some of his many accomplishments.
Before getting clean about six months ago, Chad hasn't raced or traind for six years. That doesn't mean he gave up cycling though. He could be seen riding around on a Toy's R Us Huffy begging for money and looking for crack. I think his home was on the side of a field between a fence and some shrubs.
Word on the street is that Eddy Gragus or Gaggiolli saw him on intervention and thought he would be a great addition to there team, Amore Vita/ McDonalds - something along the lines of "we take guys who have screwed up and are making a comeback as great, clean individuals" I guess there are going to be four or five of them doing the US racing circuit.
Ironic thing, after I found this out (I actually didn't believe it at first), I got a broken up call from Chad while he was riding and the only thing I understood was something like "Tell Dave Fuentes to watch out cause I'm back and I'm going to break his ass off"
Bike racing in the U.S. just got a lot more colorful.
First, before I compliment him and trash talk him I have to say that he is my friend.
This dude got chocked out by Lance at the Olympic Training Center for calling him a "fatty" - then proceeded to get kicked off the Junior Worlds Team, although second to Lance he was the strongest kid there. Chad rode for pretty much every single Pro Team in the US throughout the 90's, including Postal Service. He was the pure athlete kind of guy who could smoke you swimming across a full length pool, with a cast being held above the water on his broken arm (that really happened to me). I'm telling you, this guy was bad ass, winning stages of the Tour of Poland, Tour of China and God knows how many other races around the world and US.
Just because he sits in front of the TV chewing on his toe nails does not mean he is not smart. Getting someone else to pay for his rehab, housing and some spending money through the show 'Intervention' are just some of his many accomplishments.
Before getting clean about six months ago, Chad hasn't raced or traind for six years. That doesn't mean he gave up cycling though. He could be seen riding around on a Toy's R Us Huffy begging for money and looking for crack. I think his home was on the side of a field between a fence and some shrubs.
Word on the street is that Eddy Gragus or Gaggiolli saw him on intervention and thought he would be a great addition to there team, Amore Vita/ McDonalds - something along the lines of "we take guys who have screwed up and are making a comeback as great, clean individuals" I guess there are going to be four or five of them doing the US racing circuit.
Ironic thing, after I found this out (I actually didn't believe it at first), I got a broken up call from Chad while he was riding and the only thing I understood was something like "Tell Dave Fuentes to watch out cause I'm back and I'm going to break his ass off"
Bike racing in the U.S. just got a lot more colorful.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Turning the Screw
The 10am ride is hard.
The 10am ride is hard if;
1. You have lost your summer form and you are day 1 in the reconstruction process.
2. You really don't like hills anyway.
3. You don't really know the route.
4. Your teammate demonstrates - on you - what he meant be "turning the screw".
I took another three days off (after taking a total of three weeks off over the last two months), and today I thought I would start getting my winter base by doing the 10am. I have only done the 10am once, about a year ago, and I got dropped real early and turned around and went home. That being the case, I did not know the route or those terrible little hills.
Early on I found myself off the front with Russ "the Muscle", and we were flying. At one point though, I found myself staring at Russ's back wheel as we churned up this gradual grade. I was maxed. Then he turned and looked at me to pull through. 'Are you kidding me!', I thought. I signaled to sit on for another minute with my index (I know, wrong finger), he turned, upped the tempo and cracked me. Well, it's been a while since someone broke me off like that, and I know 'it's only November" and all but damn. Damn!
So, now I am in the second group on the road chasing Russ. I actually wasn't chasing because I was pretty tore up from the effort to stay on his wheel. I sat at the back of four guy, including my teammate Jose, just recovering. Once I did recover I started pulling through, and eventually jumped back across to Russ.
When I got across to him, I rested then pulled through. Then we got to another rise and he proceeded to ride me off of his wheel again! I was so cracked this time I barely made it to the back of Jose's group. In fact, I was pretty much done the rest of the ride, even after we caught him.
After the sprint, which never materialized and had a 70 year old man practically dive out of the way because some rider did not have his head up, my the Muscle told me he was hurting like hell too but felt it necessary to demonstrate "turning the screw" as he had explained earlier.
Russ will contribute to my article "How to not Attack like a Wussy", with his own section called "Turning the Screw". Thanks for the demonstration. Late.
The 10am ride is hard if;
1. You have lost your summer form and you are day 1 in the reconstruction process.
2. You really don't like hills anyway.
3. You don't really know the route.
4. Your teammate demonstrates - on you - what he meant be "turning the screw".
I took another three days off (after taking a total of three weeks off over the last two months), and today I thought I would start getting my winter base by doing the 10am. I have only done the 10am once, about a year ago, and I got dropped real early and turned around and went home. That being the case, I did not know the route or those terrible little hills.
Early on I found myself off the front with Russ "the Muscle", and we were flying. At one point though, I found myself staring at Russ's back wheel as we churned up this gradual grade. I was maxed. Then he turned and looked at me to pull through. 'Are you kidding me!', I thought. I signaled to sit on for another minute with my index (I know, wrong finger), he turned, upped the tempo and cracked me. Well, it's been a while since someone broke me off like that, and I know 'it's only November" and all but damn. Damn!
So, now I am in the second group on the road chasing Russ. I actually wasn't chasing because I was pretty tore up from the effort to stay on his wheel. I sat at the back of four guy, including my teammate Jose, just recovering. Once I did recover I started pulling through, and eventually jumped back across to Russ.
When I got across to him, I rested then pulled through. Then we got to another rise and he proceeded to ride me off of his wheel again! I was so cracked this time I barely made it to the back of Jose's group. In fact, I was pretty much done the rest of the ride, even after we caught him.
After the sprint, which never materialized and had a 70 year old man practically dive out of the way because some rider did not have his head up, my the Muscle told me he was hurting like hell too but felt it necessary to demonstrate "turning the screw" as he had explained earlier.
Russ will contribute to my article "How to not Attack like a Wussy", with his own section called "Turning the Screw". Thanks for the demonstration. Late.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Election Day was FUN
At the lunch ride on Tuesday Eli had an Idea to change things up. It would be him, Evan Fader and Ken Johnson against me each lap. If I won, Eli would give me $5, and if one of them beat me, I had to pay them $1. It was so much fun.
On the first lap, I pulled through kind of hard, and after they pulled through I launched on the other side. I was driving it, but when I turned around Ken had easily pulled me within a bike length so I sat up. Then Evan went. He dangled for a while and with about a k to go I jumped, brought him back, and with Ken in tow went by him. Perfect, a one up sprint with Ken (and his sore shoulder). Easy money.
Lap two, they wizened up. Evan sat on my wheel waiting for the sprint, Ken waited to launch a solo and Eli became the X factor and attacked first. I knew as soon as I caught Eli, Ken would go - with Evan sitting on me waiting for the sprint. We were cat and mousing it so much that some dude on a mountain bike came flying by us and we didn't see him again. Finally Eli was just way too far out and i had to pull him back in. The whole time I pulled I was ready for Ken to go and of course he did. I barely made it on. He didn't look back for a while and right when he did I we were close enough that I led out the sprint and took it at the line from Evan. Evan says I didn't because he threw his bike (but I know I did cause I didn't have to throw mine)(just kidding - but not really)(Evan if your reading this you know I won).
That was probably the hardest lap I have ever done at the point - and not being fit didn't help. It was hella fun though.
On another note, I took down the post about how you could possibly run into the Pres mtn biking if you couldn't hear people yelling at you cause you had headphones on. I did that because the day after that could have happened if it were to happen I got invited to go ride with him. I got all excited, borrowed a super sick mtn bike and even went for the practice ride only to find out when I got back from the Hains Point ride above that it got called off. Bummer, maybe I'll get to ride with the next Pres. I am going to put that other post back up now. Late.
On the first lap, I pulled through kind of hard, and after they pulled through I launched on the other side. I was driving it, but when I turned around Ken had easily pulled me within a bike length so I sat up. Then Evan went. He dangled for a while and with about a k to go I jumped, brought him back, and with Ken in tow went by him. Perfect, a one up sprint with Ken (and his sore shoulder). Easy money.
Lap two, they wizened up. Evan sat on my wheel waiting for the sprint, Ken waited to launch a solo and Eli became the X factor and attacked first. I knew as soon as I caught Eli, Ken would go - with Evan sitting on me waiting for the sprint. We were cat and mousing it so much that some dude on a mountain bike came flying by us and we didn't see him again. Finally Eli was just way too far out and i had to pull him back in. The whole time I pulled I was ready for Ken to go and of course he did. I barely made it on. He didn't look back for a while and right when he did I we were close enough that I led out the sprint and took it at the line from Evan. Evan says I didn't because he threw his bike (but I know I did cause I didn't have to throw mine)(just kidding - but not really)(Evan if your reading this you know I won).
That was probably the hardest lap I have ever done at the point - and not being fit didn't help. It was hella fun though.
On another note, I took down the post about how you could possibly run into the Pres mtn biking if you couldn't hear people yelling at you cause you had headphones on. I did that because the day after that could have happened if it were to happen I got invited to go ride with him. I got all excited, borrowed a super sick mtn bike and even went for the practice ride only to find out when I got back from the Hains Point ride above that it got called off. Bummer, maybe I'll get to ride with the next Pres. I am going to put that other post back up now. Late.
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